I Want My Husband To Leave. How Selfish Is This?

Your husband really should learn English. I moved to another country and learned the language in 6 months because I felt it was disrespectful not to. If there is motivation, it will happen no matter how "bad" someone is at learning languages. It is disrespectful to you that he isn't attempting English, therefore ensuring that he cannot be employed and be a proper husband. He keeps himself isolated and can't socialize with you because of his choice not to learn English. That right there is enough to make an unhappy marriage. How are you supposed to be turned on by someone who has no motivation, no desire to be a good husband outside of housekeeping and who won't help himself? It was a different story when you lived in Korea, that man is who you married. It isn't selfish to not appreciate the person he has become since he wasn't that way when you married. As for going back to Korea, is that what had been discussed previously? If when you married him, you were clear that you didn't intend to live in Korea after returning to the US then you have done nothing wrong. If you told him that you were OK with living there and now you've changed your mind, then that isn't fair to him. I don't blame you for not wanting to live in Korea, my best friend is from Seoul and has lived here for years and would NEVER want to return because of the way women are treated. Children who are half Korean are also treated horribly according to her and several other Koreans I know, so that is something to consider if you plan to have any. If you never planned to move back to Korea with him, and he's known this, he has no right to expect you to now. He does sound depressed and that is a problem. Where I live, there are lots of doctors, therapists and such that speak Korean. There's also a service that translates for free in all of our local hospitals. If you would consider counseling with a Korean speaking therapist, google "Korean speaking therapist in (your town)" and if you get nothing, substitute the word therapist for counselor, psychologist, social worker, etc. If that sounds good to you, keep trying to find what you need. He is not being fair to you by giving you guilt trips when he is the one behaving poorly. I don't think you're being selfish. It isn't your wifely duty to give up your life and go to a place that sees you as second cl when he hasn't made the effort he should have. You have been too flexible and too accommodating already in my opinion.Please be careful to not get pregnant either right now, it will make things worse. Good luck to you and I hope you find the serenity and solution you seek. Wow just reading some other answers and some people seem to see him as a victim. It's HIS choice to live here for so long and not learn English. It's HIS choice not to work hard to find a job, it's HIS choice to watch TV all day instead of be productive. And people have the nerve to be on your case because the "poor guy" is in this spot. A man moving to a country like this is not the same as a woman (and an American no less, we are not a popular bunch these days) moving to a country like that.